Kami

HULK SMASH!

As previously mentioned, working in a cinema has it’s perks. Like seeing blockbuster movies early. Tonight it was the turn of the Jolly Green Giant.

The movie was fine. Not as good as Ironman (although, the Cameo at the end by Tony Stark is the greatest part of the movie) but still good. Here, in a traditional Kami fashion, are bits that pissed me off.

1) Some of the editing was strange as shit. Like at one point, Bruce Banner is thrown a box with a new watch in it, it cuts to What’s-her-face, then back to Bruce, who has magically opened the box and got the watch to his wrist in 2.56 seconds. HULK BOX OPEN! Not long after this, there is a strange jump between Bruce and the Girl sitting at chairs and kissing kinda, to them standing upright, kissing full on. It wasn’t a normal cut, it felt very odd and as if a scene was missing in between, where they do the whole “We can’t” “I know, but I can’t help myself” Dialouge.

2) Sound design. On a whole, great job. However, there is a sound wave cannon used at one point, that is so loud and obnoxious that it even makes the audience flinch and feel uncomfortable. And not in a “Wow I can feel his Pain here” kinda way, in a “OW! I can fucking feel his pain right fucking now” kinda way.

3) How the FUCK does the Hulk survive bullets, tranquilizers, cannons, 50CAL FUCKING TURRETS, AN EXPLOSION, A BATTLE FUCKING HELICOPTER….. and then one scene later, when he bangs his head on the roof of a cave does he FUCKING GRAB IT AND WHINE IN PAIN LIKE A FUCKING DOG? What in the name of holy fucking god?!

4) This is a movie wide complaint, and was present most recently in Cloverfield and Ironman. Why is it when a Helicopter crashes or something explodes, all the army guys in helmet’s and body armor die, but the guy in jeans and a leather fucking jacket have a few scratches? What?

5) Why does Mr. Blue, the guy kinda trying to help Bruce, get a drop of mutant blood dropped on his head? His head starts to grow and pulse, as if he’s about to become the third monster in the fight, but then you never hear from him again. If he’s that bad guy in the sequal, that’s pretty lame.

6) This movie could have basically had the fight scene at the end and then the plug for the Avengers movie and that’s all you’d need to enjoy it. Really.

Final score, 6.5/10